DATELINE: December 7, 2007, Chicago
I said, Hey! You! Get off of my cloud
Hey! You! Get off of my cloud
Hey! You! Get off of my cloud
Don't hang around 'cause two's a crowd
On my cloudThe Rolling Stones, Get Off My Cloud (1965)
We are quite chauvinistic when it comes to Chicago theatre. Our leading theatre companies consistently top anything that we see around the country. We have particularly come to enjoy Chicago's Court Theatre, which recently staged outstanding productions of August Wilson's Fences and Tom Stoppard's Arcadia. In fact, we had been thinking of adding the Court's season to our subscription list, despite our already busy theatre schedule—over 30 plays in 2007. But we won't be adding the Court to our subscription list this year after last night's call....
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As with the first call we received about three weeks ago, we were asked whether we enjoyed Thyestes, a play we saw at the Court earlier this fall. Of course, the caller wasn't really interested in whether we enjoyed the play. This question was just the start of the softening-up process. The question that inevitably will come in two or three minutes is whether we want to subscribe for the remainder of the season. We had this problem with the Chicago Symphony a few years ago: Buy a ticket to a jazz concert and then receive repeated inquiries regarding full subscriptions to the symphony.
Here are the facts as we see them. We somehow managed to subscribe to two theatre company plays this past year. We also managed to buy tickets for theatre in New York, London, and Washington, D.C. We are quite aware of what plays are being staged in various cities that we visit, in large part, because we read newspapers and check Web sites. If we want tickets, we know how to purchase them. If we want a subscription, we know how to sign up for one. We aren't stupid.
So why are we so obviously ticked at the Court? Because tonight we received the same phone call for the third time in three weeks. We must admit, the first call came when we had the flu, a temperature, cold sweats, and a burning sore throat. We said we weren't interested, but when the guy persisted in wanting to call back, our weakened condition led us to give in just to get off the phone--we had declined his invitation to subscribe several times during the phone call, but he persisted despite knowing we were ill. Several days later the call came in again. This time we said "NO", and please put us on a do-not-call list.
Tonight when we said we had been called twice before, the telemarketer began to argue, saying he had had our lead for six weeks and this was his first call to us. He then insulted us, saying we must be confusing the Court with another theatre company. He went so far as to say that recipients of his calls sometimes get confused. We aren't so easily confused.
After a heated discussion, we finally got the guy off the phone. The sad thing is, we had talked about subscribing to the Court, but we will not be doing so this year. Nor will we be making the charitable contribution that has become our practice when we do subscribe to a series sponsored by a nonprofit performance group.
And it is not as if we hadn't received other prompts. We have received at least one and more likely two or three mailings from the Court during the last several weeks--each of which, like all solicitations, is discarded in the waste basket located in our building's mailroom. We also received at least one, and possible two or three e-mails from the Court during the same period. Each of which was immediately deleted.
All of this reminded us of another bad experience we had with a Chicago theatre company several years ago, when we said we did not want to make a pledge to their children's education fund. Several days later we received a letter thanking us for our $100 pledge. Within five seconds, we called this company to inform them that we did not make a pledge. If we recall, the solicitor was paid on a percentage basis--we asked. We haven't set foot in a performance by that theatre company since the incident.
Why did the solicitor fill out a false pledge card for us. We suspect that he thought that the amount was small enough that we would just go along for the ride.
Here are the lessons we draw from the Court's obnoxious attitude:
- First, when people ask to be put on a do-not-call list, put them on the list and honor the request. In fact, we would recommend checking the national do-not-call list before calling. Yes, as a charity you may be exempt, but that doesn't mean your call is going to be welcomed.
- Second, when you get the potential subscriber so irritated that they threaten to call the state attorney general, apologize and get off the phone.
- Third, just because people buy a ticket to a play or concert sponsored by your organization, does not mean that they want to be subscribers. We remember buying tickets several years ago to a performance at Tanglewood (near Lenox, Mass.) because of a family trip to the Berkshires. Now we receive expensive mailings every year from this group. Why? We aren't going back to Lenox anytime soon. People should be able to purchase a ticket over the Internet to a performance without being hit up for donations or subscriptions. If you notice a pattern (repeated purchases), then send a letter offering the opportunity to subscribe.
- Fourth, you had better know the people who are calling on your behalf and set some ground rules. These folks become your public face. They can put you out of business.
People are smart and busy. They don't need a hard sell. If they want tickets, they know how to buy them.
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